Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I'm back.. I think..

It feels like forever.

I've been gone, again.. stuck in this horrible place I go when the stress of my life over-whelms me. I think a lot of you know I have a son with autism. Up until recently we thought his diagnosis was PDD-NOS, but at the end of 2008 the doctors changed it to... a u t i s m.

The last year has really been like a horrible roller coaster that won't stop. I just want to get off the ride or throw up already.. if that makes any sense. We've had to re-live the diagnosis process all over again and be given a new label for our son that we now have to adjust to.

The public school system has not been kind. We brought our son to school at one of their 'offerings' for 4 days. The teacher told me, "he had to be restrained" on the first day. And by the time she told me, "we had to restrain him again" that was the fourth day and I never sent him back. Now the school is calling me a liar. Saying they told me, "we had to hug your son, not restrain him."

Yes, that's why I'm so upset.. because you hugged him.


So.. I've been emotionally trying to come to terms with everything that has been going on. My son has to start therapy, since he doesn't can't trust anyone at school. We have a lawyer now, she's really good.. i like her. However much I would love to be spending my money on something fun.. if she can help my son stay at a more appropriate school then I'll give her everything I have.

The problem is now.. I'm not just mad a the public school system for me and my family. I'm mad for all the other families that can't afford a lawyer or to pay for private school until their court hearing. I'm mad because this type of crap is happening all over the country, to little children every where. I'm mad because the public school system is willing to pay 8-10 people to re-do assessments that I've already paid out of pocket for and then pay those 8-10 people to sit in 2-4 hour meetings several times before reaching a decision about what sort of therapy they think is best for my son...

With all that money they just wasted it could have been a few months of tuition at my son's private school. Why are public agencies set on wasting time and money?

The kids are suffering... while all the assholes are sitting in meetings eating cookies playing gods.

Well.. two can play that way.


annie kelleher said...

its an effed up world for sure.... hope it gets better for your son and you very soon!!! so nice to see your pixels back in cyberspace if even only briefly :)...xox.... annie

mrsb said...

Oh, I'm so sorry you guys are having to go through this. I hadn't blogged about it before, but we have just had our son's diagnosis changed from PDD-NOS to "high function autism". We seem to be in the same boat, once again!

We have daily fights with the middle school my son attends. It's just so stressful and tiring, isn't it?

But we are moms, and we'll keep on trudging through and fighting for our kids, cause that's what we do.

Though I would not wish these troubles on anyone, I do admit it's nice to know I am not alone in them.


Mama Kelly said...

{{{ Sorry for all you and your son are going through }}}

Mama Kelly

Chaos and love said...

You must feel very frustrated. And understandably so........
Just so you know, I have worked with children diagnosed with autism for 13 years, in a group home, and now in the public school setting. I am a 1:1 with a student in the 5th grade. I am good people. It may look bleak right now, but, I know there are wonderful people who work with children in the schools. I am assuming they changed restraint to hug because there was no behavior plan in place. Make sure your lawyer understands that piece. Makes me wanna spit and hiss that they did this to you.
Sending you positive loving {{{vibes}}}}}

MarZel said...

Hi. I just recently joined your blog. I am a mom of an autistic boy. He is almost 20 now and I have been where you have been; though, I did not have the finances you have being a single parent back then. I could write a book in response to your post. Austisic people have a great propensity for change and improvement but it is in their own time, at their own pace and in their own way. Please read books by Temple Graden (I hope I spelled that right)... it sounds as if you need to see some light at the end of the tunnel and there is none thing better than reading it from her (she would be defined as classically autistic when a child... none verbal, head banging) who is a P.H.d and writes books and give lectures. Please email me if you need support!! zelmar1027@gmail.com Hugs!!